Title: I let things pile up

[swirlsofpurple]

 

I let things pile up,

Books and letters and emails and messages,

Words tucked away,

Where they cannot touch me, or taunt me,

Or drain me or haunt me.

 

I don’t have the energy.

 

I let things pile up,

Like a wall of dull metal bricks,

Held together with a cement,

That’s part anxiety, part depression and part laziness,

Part existential being,

I don’t know the ratios of each part.

 

I let things pile up,

Stories unwritten, words unsaid, deeds undone,

Acts tucked away,

Where they cannot shame me,

Or blame me.

 

I don’t have the time.

 

I let things pile up,

Ailments unresolved, prescriptions unfilled,

And there’s water coming through the bricks,

Wetting my feet.

I take down one brick at a time,

It’s weighty in my brittle hands,

Two appear in its place.

 

I let things pile up,

Sights unseen, roads untraversed, dreams unexplored,

Conversations un-encountered,

Life tucked away,

Where it cannot hurt me.

 

I don’t know what to say.

 

I let things pile up,

These small bricks seem insurmountable,

Untenable, I dismantle,

One day at a time,

And the wall stays level,

So I must be fine.

Comments

[megatronix]

I really, really love this. So many of your word choices were just perfection. "conversations un-encountered, Life tucked away, where it cannot hurt me. I don't know what to say."

Hot damn, that passage really hit me hard. I can SO relate to this.

This is just so, so powerful. The last line especially!! We always tell ourselves we're fine, even when we're not. Dang. I'll be thinking about this one a while, I'm sure. Excellent work!!

[swirlsofpurple]

Wow, that's a lovely compliment, thank you so much, so glad you liked my word choices and found it powerful :).

*Hugs* Yeah IKR, there are different levels of fine.