Title: I let things pile up

[swirlsofpurple]

 

I let things pile up,

Books and letters and emails and messages,

Words tucked away,

Where they cannot touch me, or taunt me,

Or drain me or haunt me.

 

I don’t have the energy.

 

I let things pile up,

Like a wall of dull metal bricks,

Held together with a cement,

That’s part anxiety, part depression and part laziness,

Part existential being,

I don’t know the ratios of each part.

 

I let things pile up,

Stories unwritten, words unsaid, deeds undone,

Acts tucked away,

Where they cannot shame me,

Or blame me.

 

I don’t have the time.

 

I let things pile up,

Ailments unresolved, prescriptions unfilled,

And there’s water coming through the bricks,

Wetting my feet.

I take down one brick at a time,

It’s weighty in my brittle hands,

Two appear in its place.

 

I let things pile up,

Sights unseen, roads untraversed, dreams unexplored,

Conversations un-encountered,

Life tucked away,

Where it cannot hurt me.

 

I don’t know what to say.

 

I let things pile up,

These small bricks seem insurmountable,

Untenable, I dismantle,

One day at a time,

And the wall stays level,

So I must be fine.

Comments

[halfshellvenus]

Oh, I really liked this! Such terrific wordplay in parts like "touch me or taunt me or drain me or haunt me" and "acts tucked away where they cannot shame me or blame me."

Life tucked away where it cannot hurt me.
I feeling I think many of us know all too well-- the temptation, if not the really, but adding in depression and anxiety, a very likely reality.

And the conclusion was nice as well! To some degree, maybe that IS what being fine looks like, at least some of the time: coping as best we can, and nothing exploding. Things could be better, but they could also be worse.

[swirlsofpurple]

This is such a lovely comment, thank you so much :).

So glad you liked those lines, I was hoping they would work well.