Title: Bycatch
Sep. 4th, 2024 09:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
swirlsofpurpleAlana sits at the back. She doesn’t want to be here, but figures she could be a support if things really kick off.
“Why are you doing this?” Ma implores, hands reaching out, as though her sister’s an errant toddler to be caught.
Her twin, Astrid, sits on a stool at the focal point of the room. There’s a wry smile on her face, she asks,
“Why are you so set on me throwing myself to the whims of an unknowable portal, to potentially be lead to ruin?”
Auntie Charlotte is crying. The cousins are trying at looking dour and failing mostly. Uncle Morris’ jaw clenches, fists curling tight by his sides.
Grandpa tuts. “That is the way of things. Don’t be a coward. Risk is the only way to glory. The only chance to be in a wondrous place.”
“I’m not a coward just because I’m not a sheep. I think my way is plenty risky.”
Alana actually agrees with her, but saying so in the middle of an intervention is probably a no-no.
Everyone keeps lobbing their opinions at Astrid. It goes on so long that the words turn overly repetitive, and the arguments watery, there’s nothing left to say.
Alana would say something if she thought Astrid needed her, but she’s clearly able to hold her own. She never surrenders. It’s impressive.
It ends in silence, nothing gained.
*
“I support you, you know,” Alana says later that night, sitting down beside her sister, nudging her gently.
“I know you do,” Astrid replies, “I don’t understand you.”
Alana shrugs. “There seems to be a lot of that going around.”
“No, I mean, the others I get. They are all-in on this whole thing, they think it’s the only way to salvation. But you get what I’m doing. You understand that this isn’t a bad choice. So why are you so willing to let the portal choose your life?”
The truth is Alana has longed for the wondrous place just as much as their family has, she’s for a moment afraid Astrid will judge her for this. But her doubt ends with the moment. “I guess it’s the same reason as you. It’s what I want.”
Astrid nods. “I’ll miss you.”
Alana hugs her sister. They’ve been beside each other since birth. Parting feels like an existential loss.
*
Alana steps towards the circle, with it’s fiery indigos, it’s liquid silvers, it’s ephemeral turquoises.
Will she be The Wanted, or will she be The Discarded. Her hand grasps the edge, a somehow solid thing, and Alana pleads with it,
“Please. Please. Please. Please.”
But there will be no mercy here, she will either be one or the other:
Wanted or Discarded.
*
A light: soft and ethereal, beckons her. There are smells: roses, lavender, freshly baked bread. The warmth is tender. There’s a spark of ginger on her tongue. A delicate melody slides in her ears like a balm. And for a glorious moment she is Wanted, Chosen, Loved.
But just as quick, inky darkness engulfs, sits salt-like on her. The smell of curdling milk. A suffocating heat. A sound so sharp it’s dizzying. Hollowness blooms inside like insatiable weeds. She is Discarded, Doomed, Damned.
There’s a soft voice: This is what it is to be discarded, you will be discarded, turn back. You have a choice.
Alana didn’t want to be discarded before, but now even more so. She can’t bear it. A life-time of that, unthinkable. It’s a test, surely. And Alana knows she must go on even if it isn’t. She misses her sister and her wisdom. But Alana still doesn’t regret her choice. She keeps moving forward. She will accept whatever fate is given to her.
*
Lovely soft velvet. Burning skin. Quenching ambrosia. Taunting thorns. Sweet lullabies. Piercing shrieks. Pink-hued sunsets. Oozing pus.
She floats, for seemingly an eternity, between the two.
The voice again: Do you want to be The Wanted?
“Yes. Yes. Yes.”
You want your sister.
Alana falls out of the portal. The place is neither wondrous, nor rotten. The portal has rejected her entirely. She’s back where she started.
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Date: 2024-09-06 08:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-09-07 07:18 am (UTC)