Title: I let things pile up

 

I let things pile up,

Books and letters and emails and messages,

Words tucked away,

Where they cannot touch me, or taunt me,

Or drain me or haunt me.

 

I don’t have the energy.

 

I let things pile up,

Like a wall of dull metal bricks,

Held together with a cement,

That’s part anxiety, part depression and part laziness,

Part existential being,

I don’t know the ratios of each part.

 

I let things pile up,

Stories unwritten, words unsaid, deeds undone,

Acts tucked away,

Where they cannot shame me,

Or blame me.

 

I don’t have the time.

 

I let things pile up,

Ailments unresolved, prescriptions unfilled,

And there’s water coming through the bricks,

Wetting my feet.

I take down one brick at a time,

It’s weighty in my brittle hands,

Two appear in its place.

 

I let things pile up,

Sights unseen, roads untraversed, dreams unexplored,

Conversations un-encountered,

Life tucked away,

Where it cannot hurt me.

 

I don’t know what to say.

 

I let things pile up,

These small bricks seem insurmountable,

Untenable, I dismantle,

One day at a time,

And the wall stays level,

So I must be fine.